Child-Full, Not Childless

SARVAM SHAKTI
Oct 21
2 min read

by Nehha Bhatnagar (without AI)

In movies, we’ve all seen it: the childless aunt, the single woman, painted as eccentric, selfish, irresponsible. But here’s the truth: today, one in five women in America are panks—Professional Aunts, No Kids. And the numbers are growing the world over.

And we love children. By choice, by relation, by devotion. We are not child-less. We are child-full—because we fill our lives with their love, and we fill their lives with ours.

Here’s the key difference: we have no legal obligation to be generous to these children, and yet—we choose to be. That choice makes us deeply generous women.

Because maternity is not just born from the womb. Maternity is born from the heart. You can be maternal to animals, to plants, to communities, to every child you meet.

And yes—it’s perfectly okay to be disinterested in having children. We live in a matronormative culture, where motherhood is glorified, and pro-natalism—fueled by the medical industry—pressures women with IVF ads and ticking clocks.

But pause for a moment. Where is the childcare leave? Where is the paternity leave? Why are women asked to sacrifice careers for motherhood while men are never called “career men”? Why is “career woman” even a term? Women can have careers. Women can choose to be mothers. Women can choose not to.

And yet—we romanticize it. Motherhood is beautiful, yes. But it is also daily exhaustion, financial strain, and constant juggling. It is not better, nor worse, than a life without children. Both can be profound. Both can be dissatisfying. Life is what we make of it.

Sometimes we forget impermanence. We cling to the idea that children will give us unconditional love, that they will complete us. But love and care are not bound by biology. They beat in every heart, whether or not it carries our blood.

And let’s talk ecology. Every child born leaves a massive footprint: diapers, plastic toys, endless consumption. Perhaps the selfishness is not in choosing not to have children, but in assuming motherhood is the only path to fulfillment.

There are other models of kinship, belonging, meaning. It is not criminal for a woman to regret motherhood, nor radical to choose not to enter it. Life offers many forms of creation—art, purpose, service, healing, teaching.

As the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad reminds us: “You are what your deep, driving desire is. As your desire, so is your will. As your will, so is your deed. As your deed, so is your destiny.”

If your deepest desire leads you to fulfillment without motherhood, that is a dharmic choice. A radical fulfillment. A destiny you chose before incarnating.

Motherhood is an extension of womanhood. But it is not its definition. A woman is whole. Complete. Creative. With or without children.

So let’s rewrite the script. Let’s honor the professional aunts, no kids. The child-full women. The nurturers who love without obligation, who mother in every way that matters.

Because family is not only biology. Family is love.And that choice—to love—is the most maternal act of all.